Setty! As the title of this blog indicates, today marks my second week anniversary in ownership to you. I never imagined that this journal could ever be so short. Writing this journal, every day, and looking at its title date, I have been always dreaming about the time I would reach the second month, tenth month, second year, tenth year ... and wondering whether I would reach the 30th, 40th or 50th year. Since I met you, I have been always dreaming about spending my entire life by your side and at your feet. I know you told me to stop writing this journal, and, surprisingly, it hurts me a lot. But, I find myself unable to quit my dream of living my life with you and for you. So, in spite of your opposing demand, I find myself insistent on writing; hoping that if you, one day, find yourself missing it, you would be happy to discover that I never stopped writing ... for you.
This is truly quite surprising to me. I never enjoyed writing. The last time I enjoyed writing was more than 20 years ago. So, while it was interesting for me to find myself happy to write for you, it is even a lot more interesting that I am continuing to write for you, even when you have demanded the opposite! It might be quite interesting, but I do not find it strange or weird any more. You made me discover love, and with love, you made discover and taught me many other meanings. Meanings that I never imagined existed. You made me discover a lot of things about myself. A lot of thoughts and a lot more feelings, These thoughts, these feelings are huge, extravagant. They ... you ... have rocked my world. My love for you is enormous. It is huge, much more than could ever be conveyed by mere words. So, in comparison to these thoughts and feelings, and my infinite love for you, discovering that I would love writing ... for you ... becomes completely insignificant. In fact, it becomes completely rational and unsurprising.
I love you so extremely much ya Setty. To an infinite extent. You are my owner, my love, my Mistress, my Goddess, my life. You are Setty! I love you to an extent that I cannot fathom or describe in mere words. I am your slave. I am your property. I am your love. I am yours. So, I find my self unable not to do things for you. I love doing things for you, which is another very surprising side of me. Even when people who I hold dearest to my heart ask me to do things for them, I do these things because I am supposed to do them. Because I should do them. But, not because I love or enjoy doing those things. But, my love for you is absolutely, completely and utterly unique. I love doing things for you. I love doing things for you because I want to do them ... because I love you and wish for nothing more than to please you and see your beautiful smile.
I am sorry ya Setty. I am sorry that I am unable to fulfill your demand. I am sorry that I am unable to stop writing for you - as you demanded. I am sorry that I am unable to imagine time passing without doing things for you. I am sorry that I am unable to stop this date-title. I am sorry that I am unable to stop my dream about reaching 01/01/50 or 01/01/100 or for whatever length of time I will continue to breathe. I am sorry that I am unable to imagine living without you. I am sorry that I am unable to stop hoping, wishing and dreaming that you might one day wish to read my journal again.
I love you ya Setty. I love beyond what mere words could ever explain. I love you ya Setty.
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