15/02/01

I love you so much ya agmal we a7la Setty. You rock me and rock my world! You drive me mad. You excite me beyond words. Hearing your voice ... seeing you ... seeing your photos ... they all make me melt. I cannot express my feelings when I see your photos ... when I see your beautiful face and your heavenly smile ... or when I dream about touching and caressing your beautiful face ... or kissing your sexy lips. You have a body of Goddess! A body I long to touch, smell, kiss, lick and worship. The form of your shape, the color of your skin, the smoothness of your body ... whether it is your face, your neck, your shoulders, your arms, your hands, your fingers, your back, your boobs, your torso, your ass, your pussy, your thighs, your legs, your feet, your toes ... they all make me melt.

Ohhhh ya Setty! Your feet! ... Your feet rock me ya Setty ... They are so beautiful and so very sexy. They drive me mad! When I see photos of your beautiful feet and your sexy toes, my heart flutters, my body trembles, my hands shake, my knees wobble ... And, all I can think about is that I want to be there ... with you ... at your feet. I want to be there. I want to be kneeling at your beautiful feet ... watching them, smelling them, touching them, kissing them, licking them, sucking them, worshiping them ...  every inch of them ... your toes, between your toes, your feet balls, your arches, your heels, your feet tops, your ankles ... every single inch ...  I want to be there ... at you feet ... your loving, adoring, doting pet ... submitting to you ... belonging to you ... taking care of you ... serving you ... worshiping you. Such incredible and powerful feelings.

Thank you ya Setty. Thank you ya agmal we a7la Setty. Thank you for rocking me and rocking my world. Thank you for allowing me to feel these indescribable feelings. Thank you for owning me. Thank you for allowing me to be yours. I love you soooo much ya Setty. Soooo very very very very very very much! You own me ... I am yours ... You are Setty!

14/02/01

I miss you ya Setty. I miss speaking with you. I miss hearing your voice. I miss listening to your laugh. I miss seeing you. I miss you. And, I am thinking about you all the time. I am thinking about kissing you. About kneeling at your feet. About submitting to you. About kissing your feet. About worshiping your beautiful pussy. About kissing your sexy ass. About massaging your rocking body. About shaving your legs. About running your bath. About giving you a shower. About brushing your hair. About hugging you. About sleeping beside you. About sleeping at your feet. About preparing your breakfast. About serving you breakfast in bed. About watching you fall asleep. About helping you change your clothes. About taking your shoes off. About washing your feet. About massaging your feet. About putting your shoes on. About being fucked by you. About feeling you inside of me. About fucking you. About driving you around. About running your errands. About fixing your drink. About making you bread and butter. About making you meals. About eating at your feet. About living with you. About living for you. About pleasing you. About making you happy. I am thinking about you all the time ya Setty. I miss you ya Setty. I love you so much ya Setty. So very very very much. I love you and I miss you ya Setty.

13/02/01

Setty 7abeebet alby! Ottettek misses you and hopes you are having a good sleep. I feel very happy when I do something that succeeds in pleasing you, cheering you, exciting you, making you smile, or making you laugh. I love making you happy. I so love when you are happy, and wish you would always be happy ... and, I love it a lot more when I am the one who is causing your happiness. It makes me feel useful ... even if for a little tiny bit ... but your happiness is not even close to being tiny. It is huge for me. It is the one thing I wish most. I guess that is probably the reason I have started writing and continued to maintain writing this journal ... only to please you ... Setty ... we 7abebty ... we rou7 alby. I felt very happy today when you told me that my meows excited you; it is the reason I made them and sent them to you ... to please you! Thank you ya agmal we a7la Setty for allowing me to feel happy ... just for pleasing you. I love you so much ya agmal we a3zam we a7la Setty. I love you so very very very very very much ... and I love being your otta ... meow ... meow ...

12/02/01

I missed you today ya a7la Setty, but I was very happy to see your designs - and the video of the dog. Thank you very much for sharing them with me ya agmal we a7la Setty. I love you so much. Every minute that I spend without chatting with you, speaking with you, listening to your voice, seeing you makes me miss you. I so love hearing your voice when I wake up ... it brightens my day ... and, I so love hearing your voice before I go to bed ... it brightens my dreams. I have been dying to sleep for about 4 hours now, but I am resisting. I am trying to stay awake for as long as I can. Because, I do not wish to fall asleep without listening to your voice first. I will try to stay awake for as long as I can, hoping I could hear Setty's beautiful voice before I sleep. That way I know my sleep would be a lot more better: more relaxed, peaceful, comfortable, a lot more happier ... and I might perhaps have some memorable dreams of agmal Setty. I cannot tell you how much I love dreaming about you ya Setty! All these feelings are very new for me, but I love them. I feel happy when I hear your voice and listen to your laughter ya Setty. They make my day - and night - a lot more better. I love you so much ya Setty.

11/02/01

These days, I am constantly feeling happy, cheerful, and excited ... and, it is all because of you ya agmal we a7la Setty. I wonder if you know the kind of power and effect you have on me. Every time you tell me that you love me, I loose a couple of seconds from life. I literally do. I become so excited and happy to the extent that I become fixated on your words. I loose consciousness for a few seconds. I regain my consciousness only a few seconds later, after I had lost a few seconds from life. But, I do not loose my happiness and excitement. I remain happy and excited and my love for you duplicates. My gratefulness towards you for allowing me to feel so happy and excited makes me fall in love so much more with you ... ya agmal we a7la we a3zam Setty. I so love you and worship you. I am so head over heels for you. You rock me and rock my world. You are so incredible beautiful, gorgeous, and phenomenally amazing. I am so in love with you ya Setty. No words could convey these feelings I have for you or how happy and excited your love makes me feel. Thank you ya Setty. Thank you for allowing me to love you. Thank you for allowing me to love you more every day. Thank you for allowing me to be yours. Thank you for allowing me to live for you. You are Setty ... and, I am so madly in love with you.

10/02/01

It is fascinating how I love you more and more every day! Your happy, loving side is so completely irresistible, mind blowing, heart enchanting, and utterly captivating! I feel excited and my breath becomes heavy only thinking about it and remembering it. The entire day today, I kept reading and re-reading your messages, seeing your photos, remembering your voice and recalling your words. Talking with you this morning, I was in such a love trance. I was so under your spell. You are so incredible ya Setty ... absolutely incredible ... and I love you so much. I love you so much more and more, day after day.

After our phone conversation this morning, all I could think about was how much I wish I could feel you inside of me. I never felt that way towards anyone else before, but with you, I think about it quite often. It is probably because how submissive I feel towards you. How I love being your otta. How I love being your bitch. How I love being yours. I really love how I love you, yet I also love how I fear you at the same time.  I fear upsetting you. I fear being scolded by you. I fear being punished by you. I fear not being able to speak with you or hear your voice. I fear you thinking less of me. I fear you loving me less. I love you so much, yet at the same time, because of how much I love you and how submissive I feel towards you, I also fear you.

I love everything about you ya Setty. Everything! I think about you and remember you all the time. I love you so much. I am possessed by your love. I love you so much ya Setty.

09/02/01

Setty 7abeebet alby! I love you so much! I know that I love you so much because of so many reasons. In addition to my very strong feelings for you, in addition to how my heart flutters when I see you, in addition to how happy I feel when I hear your voice, in addition to how much I love seeing your smile, in addition to how much I love listening to your laughter, in addition to how much I enjoy speaking or chatting with you, in addition to how much I think and dream about you ... in addition to all these aspects, I know that I love you so much for many many others too.

I know that I love you so much because I fear upsetting you, like I never feared upsetting anyone before. I know that I love you so much because I feel jealous, like I never felt that way about anyone before. I know that I love you so much because I am always thinking about you, like I never thought about anyone to that extent before. I know that I love you so much because I am always dreaming about being with you and serving you, like I never thought about anyone before. I know that I love you so much because I worry about your comfort and safety, like I never worried about anyone before. I know that I love you because I am always thinking about submitting and surrendering myself to you, like I never thought that way about anyone before. I know that I love you so much because I enjoyed and miss receiving pain from you, like I never felt that way before. I know that I love you so much because I am always thinking about feeling you inside of me, like I never felt that way before. I know that I love you so much because I am always dreaming about spending my entire life at your feet and with you, like I never thought that way about anyone before. I know that I love you because I want nothing more than to please you, your pleasure is my utmost desire, like I never felt that way towards anyone before. I know that I love you so much because I never valued or respected anyone's ideas, thoughts and opinions, like I value and respects yours before. I know that I love you so much because I love obeying you, like I never did with anyone else before. I know that I love you so much, because I never loved anyone that way before.

I worry about you. I worry when you get injured. I worry when you feel pain. I worry when you feel frustrated. I worry when I do not hear your voice. I worry when you do not sound happy. I worry when you do not laugh. I worry when you do not sleep well. I worry when you do not wish to see a doctor. I worry when you are upset. I worry when you hang up on me. I worry when you do not respond to me. I worry about you, like I never worried about anyone else before.

I love you so much ya Setty! So very very very very very much!

08/02/01

Setty! I love you so very much! I am very happy that you spoke with me yesterday. I love feeling close to you. I love learning everything about you. I love knowing you and knowing how you feel and how you think. I was not happy that you are feeling so frustrated and stressed, but I was happy that you decided to share your frustrations with me. I felt happy that you felt you could trust me with this and that you spoke with me. I love you so much and I miss you so very much. I love hearing your voice. I so love you voice. Your voice is closest to my heart. Listening to your voice fills my heart with love and content. It makes my heart flutter. It is such a strange feeling how only hearing someone's voice can have such a strong effect on my feelings and being. But, it is not just someone's voice. It is your voice. The voice of you ... my love ... Setty.

It hurts me when you get upset with me, frown upon me, or call me names. It hurts me to the extent that I think a lot about everything I say. You get upset because of my silence, but you do not realize that I am silent because I fear upsetting you. I am silent because I go through tens of iterations of what I wish to say. I am silent because I am thinking about what I should say or not say, how I should say it or not say it, and what your reaction might be. I am not used to being called names or to being scolded or shouted at, and it hurts me when you do so. It hurts me because my intentions are always based on my deep love for you. My intentions are always to please you. I am still trying to get used to it with you. I love you so much and I am trying to change how I feel, what I say, what I do, or what I expect ... only for you ... to be with you ... to be what would please you ... and to be what you would like me to be. I am so in love with you ya Setty.

I woke up this morning and I could not think about anything except you. Dreaming about licking your dirty feet clean. Dreaming about hearing your voice. Dreaming about being at your feet, submitting to you, loving you, and worshiping you. Dreaming about being fucked by you, being close to you, feeling your skin on mine, feeling you inside me, feeling your breath on my skin. Dreaming about kissing you, feeling your tongue in my mouth, tasting your saliva. Dreaming about worshiping your pussy, feeling your pleasure, tasting your juices ... Oh, ya Setty. I love you so very very very much.

07/02/01

I so love my submissive feelings for you. I love your dominance and control over me. I love listening to you, obeying you, worshipping you, and being yours, owned by you. I so wish I could just kneel at your feet, kiss them, lick them, rub my face and body over them and over your legs, feel your pat on my head, and melt in your loving ownership gaze for me.

It's strange that at the same time, I love my platonic love, awe and adoration feelings for you, and yours for me. I love listening to your voice, looking into your eyes, holding your hand, caressing your face, seeing and listening to your laugh, and even just looking at you or seeing you. When you tell me words like 7abibi or I love you, my heart pounds, the time slows down and I cannot observe or think about anything else except of how happy and excited I feel. I never understood the concept of wishing that time would stop at a single second, except when I am with you.

Yet, at the same, too, I love my sexual feelings towards you. Your sexuality drives me mad. I completely love every single inch of your sexy body. Whether it's your lips, your shoulders, your neck, your boobs, your ass, your pussy, your hands, your thighs, your legs, your feet, your touch, your cock ... Every single inch of your body excites me and makes me rock hard. Every time I think about you, or I talk or chat with you, I feel horny and excited!

My love for you is all encompassing. It is very deep and has so many layers. It's the kind of love that controls my every thought and my very being. Your control over me is infinite. I love you so very very very very very very much ya Setty. I worship you!

06/02/01

I'm so happy and excited. I'm so happy I almost forgot to write this journal. I went to bed then remembered and woke up again, only to write it ... for you ... ya Setty. Oh, how I love this word ... how I love saying it to you, and how happy I feel when I say it ... ya Setty ... ya agmal we a7la Setty.

I missed you sooooooooo much ya Setty. Thank you for allowing me to speak with you. Thank you for allowing me to hear your voice. Thank you for allowing me to hear your laugh. Thank you for allowing me to see you ... ya agmal we a7la Setty. I missed you so much. I love everything about you, and I missed everything about you. I felt so sad. I felt so much pain. I felt so confused. I didn't know what to do. I felt lost. I didn't know how to be happy. I didn't know how to go back to my old life. I do not want to go back to my old life. All I wanted and all I want is to be with you. To be yours. To belong to you. To live my life with you. To live my life for you, at your feet, serving, loving and worshiping you ... forever ... till the end of my time. I love you so much ya Setty. I love you so very, very, very, very, very, very much!

I beg you. I beg you with every single bit of me being. I beg you ya Setty. I beg you. I beg you, please don't torture me this way again. Please ya Setty. I beg you. Please, don't make me suffer this way again. It was very painful. Very, very painful ya Setty. In so many different ways ... Unless it would make you happy. In this case, I'd be happy to suffer for you. I love you ya Setty.

05/02/01

I am very worried about you and what is happening. Your voice in the message sounded very sad and tired. I am very worried about you and about what is going on. I hope you will talk to me when you wake up. I pray that she will recover and be well and healthy. I love you so much.

04/02/01

The entire day yesterday, I kept remembering that time I knelt at you feet, kissed them, surrendered to you, and begged you to take me in, and make me yours. How you patted me on my head and how you looked at me and nodded for me. I cannot forget how your eyes looked at me at that time, or how happy, content and peaceful I felt at that time, and how I miss feeling that way. The entire day yesterday, all I could think about was how I wish I could do it again: kneel at your feet, grovel at them, kiss them, tell you how much I love you and miss you, surrender to you, and beg you to forgive me, come back, talk to me and allow me to be with you ... Then, you told me I am selfish ... and you are probably right, as you always are. But, I do not know what to do. I am trying not to be selfish, but it is very difficult. I am trying not to tell you how I feel or what I think, but sometimes I fail. I do not want to upset you or burden you with my feelings and thoughts, but sometimes some of them slip through. I am trying really hard to stay and remain away, as you want me to be, despite of how difficult and painful it is. I am trying to do all of this, against my desire ... for you ... because I love you so much ... and I want nothing more than your happiness ... ya Setty. But, I can feel myself getting weaker. Your love makes me strong. That's why I asked you yesterday if you loved me. I wished to hear it so that I could regain some of my strength, and continue fighting my desires and my weaknesses and my selfishness. I do not want to be selfish. I do not want anything more than you happiness. I love you so much ya Setty.

03/02/01

It has been 6 days, but it feels a lot more like 6 months! I can't even believe that all this pain is for 6 days only! 6 days away from you is such a painfully loooong time. My defenses and strength are all failing. I am trying to stay strong, but I can feel myself getting weaker and weaker. I do not know how much longer I can endure. I love you very much and I need you ya Setty. I am in so much turmoil and pain. Please come back. Please allow me to be with you. Please talk to me ya Setty.

02/02/01

I miss you so much ya Setty! Sooooooooo much! I do not want to live without you. My whole life, I have been dreaming about you. I will not give up. I will never stop loving you. I will never cease waiting for you, nor hoping to hear your voice again. Being away from you is very difficult. Restraining myself from contacting you is extremely difficult. I think about texting you all the time. I have surrendered to my desires and wrote you text messages many, many times; then, I regained my self restraint and erased them before hitting send. My only solace is knowing that you must be happier. I want nothing more than your happiness, because I love you ... I miss you so much ya Setty! :"(

01/02/01

Today is my first month anniversary! When I started writing this journal I was doubtful I could keep it up for more than a few days, or a couple of weeks at most. As I mentioned before, I do not enjoy writing, and I have repeatedly failed keeping or maintaining any kind of journal in the past. Then, I discovered that I loved writing it ... for you ... because it pleased you ... because I love you like I never loved anyone before ... because I love pleasing you and making you happy, more than anything else. So, my doubt transformed to certainty. I became certain that I was going to be able to write this journal and maintain it for as long as you desire ... I started looking forward to my week anniversaries and became anxious to reach my first month anniversary, second month anniversary, first year anniversary, second year anniversary, first decade anniversary... till the end of my time. I envisioned a future where I would be happy, proud and celebrating every milestone I would break writing this journal for you. What I never imagined was that I would be feeling this way on my first month anniversary, instead of being happy, proud and celebrating it.

30/01/01

I feel pretty exhausted today. I am exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am exhausted all around. In spite of my exhaustion, I just wish I could speak with you, hear your voice, know that you are alright, and see you. I miss the strangest things. It is so strange how I so miss waking up in the morning and wishing you a good day, or that I go to sleep without wishing you a good night. I wonder if you miss me, and I wonder how you are. If you are happier, then I am happy you decided to take this break. In spite of how I feel, I really hope you are happier. I love you, and I want nothing more than your happiness.

29/01/01

Today is my 4th week anniversary in ownership to you ya Setty. Unlike every other time, this time, I say this word with a lot of pain. I hoped that this anniversary was going to be even better than my 3rd week one, which was absolutely great. However, sadly, it turned out to be even worse than my 2nd week anniversary, which was pretty bad in itself. I feel extremely sad, and I am paralyzed; unable to do anything about it.

I miss you so much ya Setty. It is very painful not to be able to chat or speak with you. It is very painful to be alone, without you. It is also very difficult to feel paralyzed; unable to do anything about it. While I wish I could speak with you, explain to you what happened; understand from you why you are so very upset; apologize to you, grovel for you, and beg for your forgiveness; make it up to you, I am unable to do any of this. I am unable to do anything because I have to obey you. You told me you needed space, and I can only obey you. Regardless of how difficult it is. Regardless of how I feel. Regardless of what I wish. You matter to me a lot more than I matter to myself. I told you before, I would sacrifice for you. I would rather be sad, unhappy and in pain, then to attempt anything that could upset you or cause you sadness in any way. It is very difficult, but my love for you gives me strength. It gives me the strength to suffer in silence ... for you.

I will not tell you how hard the day before yesterday, yesterday and especially today have been for me. I will not tell you how I felt and feel, and I will not tell you what I did or did not do today. I really wish I could tell you. I really wish you would know. I really wish I could speak with you. I really wish I could hear your voice. I really wish I could know how you are. I really wish I could know how your day has been. I really wish I could see you. But, I will not. I will not tell you. I will not tell you ... not because I do not wish to. On the contrary, I so wish I would. But, I will not tell you because I do not want you to feel sorry for me. I will not tell you because you told me you needed space ... probably because you need to sort something out... or think ... or make a decision ... and you do not want me to be with you while you do so. You probably do not want to be influenced by me. So, I have to respect your desire. I have to respect your desire and stay away. I have to respect your wish and help you do what you wish without my influence ... or my presence ...  or your sympathy for me ... regardless of how difficult and painful it is for me. I have to obey you. You are Setty. I love you more than anyone or anything. I have to respect your desire and obey you.

I understand that this relationship is not easy. It is not easy for you and not easy for me. But, I love you so much ya Setty, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to be with you, and to be yours. But, I cannot do it alone ... and, I cannot do it if it is beneficial for only me. I cannot do it if I am hurting you and causing your pain. I cannot be selfish because I love you. I cannot be selfish because I care about you more than I care about myself. I cannot do it unless you want me to. I cannot do it unless you want me to be with you.

This is why I have to obey you. This is why I have to neglect what I want and what I wish. This is why I have to respect your desire and obey you. This is why I cannot tell you ... because I love you ... I love you so much ... ya 7abebty ... ya alby ... ya rou7 alby ... ya Setty! I love you, and I will always be at your door ... waiting and hoping you would take me back and allow me to live at your feet, with you ... and, for you. I love you ya Setty.

28/01/01

I miss you so much ya Setty. Please do not understand what I am about to write as complaining. Per your desire, I am only sharing my thoughts and feelings. I am truly very happy that you have been allowing me the privilege of speaking with you and seeing you. Every time I speak with you or see you, I feel truly happy. I think you can sense it in my voice. I think you can sense my love, adoration and happiness in my voice when you allow me to speak with you or see you. Yet, at the same time, while you have been allowing me the privilege of speaking with you, which I am very grateful for, I feel you have still been holding back and not allowing me to know you more. I have asked you several things, and you have responded by saying you did not wish to talk about them at that time. You have indicated that there are things you want to speak with me about, then later forgot what they were, or changed your mind. I understand that the time difference could be confusing and that it is possible that the timing was just off. Yet, sometimes I wonder whether you are holding back; not allowing me to get closer to you. I love you so much ya Setty. I am completely and madly in love with you. There is nothing I wish more than being completely and totally yours, knowing everything about you, being your closest friend, lover, slave, otta, bitch, and anything and everything you would want me to be. I understand it is a privilege, not a right. So, I can never demand such a thing. I am only sharing my thoughts, feelings, dreams and wishes.

I missed you soooooo much yesterday and today ya Setty. I am very sorry I had such a long day today and that when my cellphone died, I left it in the charger and was not able to retrieve it back and keep it on me. In addition to the long day, I thought you were sleeping. I repeatedly mentioned that you rocked and continue to rock my world. I wrote and mentioned that you have completely changed my life. I am no longer happy with my current life and I cannot understand or remember how I was one day happy with my life ... if you were not part of it! One of the aspects that you changed in my life, which I only noticed today, is how I have been constantly holding to my cellphone since I started speaking with you. Before meeting you, this was the complete opposite. I used to be famous for not answering my phone. Not because I do not want to, but because I never used to carry it on me. I used to always leave it lying somewhere while I went about doing various stuff. I used to have a reputation for that. People used to be surprised if I ever answered any of their calls. However, since meeting you, I have become the complete opposite. I have been constantly walking around with my phone in my hand. Not even in my pocket. It is always in my hand, in font of my eyes. I do it for you. Only you, and no one else but you. Setty rou7 alby, whom I so madly love, adore and worship.. It is always in my hand because I am always longing to speak or chat with you. I am always waiting for you to read my message(s), send me a message, or acknowledge my in any way. I am always waiting for my beloved Setty .., waiting on You hand and foot. I love you so much ya agmal we a7la Setty, and I miss you soooo very much!

27/01/01

I missed you so much today ya Setty. It was pretty painful not to be able to speak or chat with you. It was painful to the extent that I couldn't work or do anything else but wait for you and hope to hear from you. Everyday, I realize how much I actually love you. I realize how I'm completely, utterly and absolutely in love with you. I love you so much and wish for nothing more than being with you, being yours and spending my life at your feet, with you and for you. I love you so much ya Setty.

I'm quite stressed this week. I've a lot of late work that I've to catch up on. I stayed late working tonight and have to get up and go to work in a few hours.

I LOVE your photos VERY much ya Setty. You're so incredibly and absolutely Gorgeous, and your feet drive me mad! I'm so crazy in love with you!!! You're Setty!

26/01/01

I love you so very much ya Setty. Seeing you has such an incredible effect on my heart. I do not even know how to explain it. I cannot grasp it or put it in words. I love seeing you so much. I would have no trouble just looking at you quietly for whatever length of time you would allow me. Just seeing you, watching you makes me feel truly happy. It makes me feel very happy; it is strange. I would just love to sit there watch you and listen to you forever, and I would be truly happy the entire time.

You have such an incredible laugh too. In fact, you have several different laughs, and they are all quite incredible. I love listening to all of them. Each and every one of them moves my heart and, they too, make me feel truly happy.

It is so strange how much I love you. I never thought such love is possible. I never believed it exists. But, particularly, I never thought it could be possible for me to love someone so much, or in this case, to fall completely and madly in love with someone in this extreme manner. It is so strange that I love everything about you. Whether it is your body, or your moves, or your thoughts, or your voice, or your words, or your art, or your attitudes, or your moods, or your gestures, or your smiles or laughs, or your dominance, or your sweetness, or your softness, or your tenderness, or your silliness, or your kindness ... and, even your meanness. It is unbelievable that there is absolutely nothing that I am even neutral about. I am completely and madly in love with everything about you ... every little, small,, big or huge thing ... absolutely everything ... everything!

You are absolutely incredible. You are everything I ever wished for, dreamt about, and even things I never thought about or imagined. You are a Goddess ... my Goddess ... I love you so very much ya agmal we a7la Setty. Every bit of my being is so incredibly in love with you! I love you ya Setty!

25/01/01

Ohhhhh ya Setty! I love you so very very very much! I love how funny and happy our conversations have been. I love that you have been allowing me to speak with you. I love all the sweet things you say to me. I just love you so very much ya agmal we a7la Setty.

I'm truly sorry I fell asleep while chatting with you earlier. I have no idea what happened. Apparently, I was too exhausted. I fell asleep suddenly. After falling asleep, I woke up a couple of times but I couldn't even lift my arm and I just kept falling asleep again. Please don't be upset. I beg you ya rou7 alby ya Setty.

I love your new look, just as much as I loved your old one, and just like I love everything about you ya a7la Setty. I love your hair cut, your berbel hair, your beautiful mani, and your beautiful, sexy feet and pedi. But, I particularly love how joyful the new look is making you feel. No words can describe how much I love and desire your happiness. And, how much I love your beautiful smile, and your heart-fluttering laugh. You rock me ya Setty, and you rock my world. I'm so madly in love with you. So madly in love with you.

24/01/01

I love you so much ya a7la Setty. Again, and again, and again, I didn't know that the line dropped. So, I kept speaking for at least 20 min before I realized that the line dropped. I know that it's at least 20 minutes, because that's the time difference between the time I hung up and the time stamp on the message I discovered you sent on whatsapp!

I love speaking with you when you're in a happy mood. I love speaking with you all the time, but I specifically enjoy it when you're happy and laughing. I love you so much. I feel very happy when you laugh, especially when I'm the one making you laugh. I miss seeing you and I miss your laughs a lot. I love you ya Setty.

I feel very tired today. I'm going to go to bed. I hope you'll have a good night sleep ya a7la we agmal Setty ... ever! I love you so very much ya Setty. Kissesssssssssss

23/01/01

Today has been such a long day. I am so exhausted. I wonder whether you remember our conversation last night/this morning. You sounded quite asleep. I wonder what you remember - or not remember. For some reason (that is because I am madly in love with you), I love speaking with you even when you are half -or fully- asleep. How strange is that! A conversation typically requires two active sides. However, even when you are asleep, I feel happy speaking with you ... having a one-sided conversation; just because I feel I am with you and close to you. Oh, how much I love you ya Setty! How much I love feeling and being close to you.

I so love speaking with you ya Setty. I so loved our conversations today. I loved hearing your beautiful voice, listening to your heart-rocking laughs, and learning all about your mean facts. I love you so much ya a7la Setty, and I absolutely love speaking with you. Thank you very much for making me feel so happy tonight ya agmal we a7la Setty. I'm so madly in love with you. Everything about you.

22/01/01

Setty! I wrote in one in my previous journals how much I love this word. What it means to me and how it make me feel. However, what I did not write before is that while the word always holds and conveys my very deep, strong and powerful love feelings and emotions towards you, I sometimes use it with tremendous amounts of joy and happiness ... and other times it is accompanied with much agony and pain. Today, I use my beloved word, Setty, with the former. Today, I feel very happy. I feel I am flying in happiness. You are Setty. I missed you so much these past days. You were there, but I was alone. Today, I do not feel alone. Today, I feel your love. I feel your protection. I feel yours. Every bit in my being wants to be yours, wishes to be yours, and no one else's, forever. Today, you are Setty. I love you and I know I am yours. A few days ago, I dreamt you told me "You are mine. Mine. Mine. Mine". A few days ago, it was a dream. It was a wish. It was a prayer. Today, I feel it. I feel I am yours, and it fills my heart and soul with happiness. There is nothing I wish for more than being yours. Your property. Your love. Your companion. Your otta. Your bitch. Your friend. Your pet. Yours. Yours in every possible way. Totally, utterly and completely yours. You are Setty, and I am yours.

The closer I feel to you, the happier, calmer, more confident, more peaceful I feel. I love when I learn new things about you. I love when I know you better. You promised me you will never use silence against me again. To me, this means you promised you will never leave me alone again. You told me many other things, most of which we haven't discussed yet. Things such as that you want to love me without the burden of your "issues". What I really hope and would truly love is to learn all about your burdens. In full details. To share them with you. To carry them with you. In full weight. I want to be very close to you. I want to be useful for you. I want you to rely on me. To trust me. To be certain that I am and will always be with you ... Yours! Similarly, I wish that you would know everything about me too. I wish I could share all my thoughts, feelings and everything that I am with you. I wish we could become one. I never loved anyone the way I love you before - and I am sure I never will. I never attempted to be open with anyone before. I never felt I wanted to. But, with you, it is completely different. You are not like anyone else. You are you. You are my Love. My Mistress. My Owner. My Goddess. You are Setty! I want to be an open book for you. I want to share everything with you, just as much as I wish you would share everything with me. I want to be yours. Completely yours. You are Setty.

Today is my third week anniversary of ownership to you. I am so happy and grateful it is nothing like my second week one. I hope that my fourth, fifth, tenth, hundreds, thousandth, and all succeeding ones will continue to be as full of love and happiness as today. I love you ya Setty. I love you so much. I am madly in love with you. I love you, I adore you, and I worship you. You are Setty! I love you so much ya Setty.

21/01/01

I miss you so much ya Setty. I miss speaking with you a lot! Your texts sort of indicate that you are feeling better today. I hope it is true, and not my wishful thinking . I read the post you forwarded to me many times. I am happy you think it is wise. I see its rationale, and I hope you will decide to follow its embedded advice. I hope that you always remember and are aware of how much I love you and care for you, and how I would love nothing more than to be close to you, on all levels: emotionally, mentally, and physically. I hope you realize how I would love nothing more than to learn about everything that you are thinking and experiencing, and think with you and for you. I care about nothing more than your happiness ya Setty. I wish I could be of any use for you. I care about you so much, and I wish I could be part of your life. I just love you so much ya Setty.

In the past couple of days, I remembered and relived (in my mind) almost all of our meetings. I remembered the first time when we met in the club then I drove you home. The second time when I picked you up, played you the french songs, and we spent the night at Mena House where I served you bread and butter, then I knelt for you, kissed your feet and begged you to take me in before taking you home. And, how you showed me the place where you used to live on our way home. The third time when you denied me the privilege of seeing you (in spite of Zamalek's miracle), then changed your mind because I was wearing pink! And, how I loved receiving pain from you and loved worshiping your amazing body and pussy. Then, we went out and had dinner together after spending a good amount of time searching in Zamalek. And, the fourth and last time when we met at the club, then went to your house where I loved listening to your wishes, reading your poetry and seeing your drawings, then spent this glorious morning having breakfast together at the Marriott and brought the croissant on our way home. I remembered and loved all the details of all of our four meetings. This is not the first time I replay these four days in my mind. I am always remembering, re-remembering and re-living those four best days of my life. I love you so much ya Setty. I am so eager to spend more time with you, all my time with you, loving you, serving you, obeying you, adoring you, and worshiping you. You mean the world to me. I love you soooooooooo much! I miss you sooo much ya Setty. Soooooooooooo much.

20/01/01

I love you so much ya Setty. I so loved hearing your voice today, and even though our chat today was frequently interrupted, I still loved it very much. I miss you a lot ya Setty. I miss you very much. I miss seeing you, I miss seeing your smile which I adore, I miss your laugh which I relish, I miss hearing your beautiful voice, I miss spending hours only chatting with you and listening to your exciting stories, enticing adventures and (mostly) splendid dreams, I miss going on Pokemon quests with you, I miss getting Shadow's Shawerma,  I miss your touch, I miss feeling your soft skin, I miss smelling your sweet odor, I miss caressing your beautiful face, I miss worshiping your sexy body, I even miss feeling pain by your hands. I miss you so much ya Setty, and I miss everything about you. Even though our phone conversation earlier today was fairly short, I still loved hearing your voice and speaking with you. And, even though our chat was repeatedly interrupted, I still loved chatting with you earlier today. I appreciate any amount of time you allow me to spend with you, and regardless of the communication venue that you allow me. You are my Goddess, my Mistress, my love, Setty ... and, I am completely and madly in love with you.

Your words have such a powerful effect on me. When you tell me words like "I love you", "I want to be with you", "I miss you", "I miss being inside you", "... while you fuck me" ... You rock my world. You make me feel extremely happy. Your words make my heart flutter, they cause the sun to shine in my eyes; the stars to twinkle, dance, and sing with me; the moon to shine, grow and smile for me ... all at the same time. Your words take my fears away. They bury my worries. They allow my mind, heart and soul to rest and just enjoy being happy for being able to listen to you and marvel in being with you.

Even my dreams about you make me happy. When I dream about you making love to me, causing me to produce such intense moans and squeals. Or, when you tell me and stress to me that I am yours, Yours. Yours. Yours ... I feel quite happy. I wish I could be yours ... with every tiny bit of my heart, mind, body and soul ya Setty. There is nothing I wish for in this world more than being yours. I want nothing more than being utterly and completely yours ... and no one else's ... only yours. I wish you would own me completely ya Setty. I wish to live my life under your will. I wish to live my entire life loving you, adoring you, worshiping you, pleasing you, obeying you, and hopefully succeeding in making you happy. You once wrote that I may be naive to think that I could please you ... and may be you are right, but I certainly hope not ... I do not know. What I do know is that I love with you my entire existence. The way I feel about you, I have never felt and will never feel that way about anyone else. It is only you and will never be anyone but you ... There is no one else like you and there could never be anyone else like you. You are perfect. Absolutely perfect. So, if I cannot make the one and only person I love so much happy, then what good is my life! I cannot imagine that I could ever fail with all the love I hold for you ... the strongest feelings I have ever experienced or will ever experience. I love you so much ya Setty, and I strongly feel that I could make you happy. Please do not make me doubt myself. Please do not say otherwise. Else, what good would my life be.

I love you so much ya Setty, and there is no where I'd rather live except with you ... and for you. I love you ya agmal we a7la we a3zam Setty! I love you soooooo much!

19/01/01

I woke up dreaming about you again today ya Setty. I woke up to find myself making squealing sounds. Again, I dreamt that you were making love to me, but this time I was both moaning as well as squealing. The dream felt so real to that extent that when I woke up I discovered that I was making these squealing sounds not only in the dream, but also in real life. I do not know if anyone heard me make these sounds. And, I do not know what anyone would imagine I am dreaming about, if they were to hear me make these sounds while asleep. I doubt they would imagine how much I love you, miss you, wish to be with you, and wish you would make love to me.

People have different views about dreams. Some believe that the soul leaves the body and travels into mysterious dimensions where it captures messages about the unknown. Science, however, postulates that dreams are representation of thoughts, beliefs, hopes and fears from our unconscious minds. Since I am a man of science, I share the latter postulation.

I wonder what my unconscious mind is trying to tell me by these dreams about you. Is it trying to tell me that I love you so much, that I long to be with you and feel you both outside and inside of me? Or, does it miss you too much and is trying to compensate for the void created by your absence by producing these vivid dreams and images about being with you? Or. perhaps, it fears that your absence is an indication that we are drifting apart and is trying to reassure itself that we are still close and that I will someday soon be even much closer to you, where I will feel and experience your love in the most intimate of ways. Psychiatry is certainly not one of my strong hauls. However, I do believe that my unconscious mind is trying to tell me something. I am just not certain what it is yet.

While I have yet to make a conclusion about the meaning of those dreams, I cannot but hope that I will continue to experience and remember more and more of them. I love dreaming about you ya Setty, and I particularly love dreaming about, and feeling, you make love to me. I love you so much ya Setty. I love you and I miss you so much. There is nothing I wish for in this world more than being with you, being yours and living at your feet, by your side, and for you. Ottetek loves you and misses you so much ya Setty.

18/01/01

Setty 7abebty! I would never miss a day without writing for you. You are the only person I love writing for, and you are the only person I love doing things for. It is as if doing those things for you makes me feel and realize that I am yours, which by turn makes me feel happy, really happy. I missed you a lot today. We have not chatted almost at all, and I neither heard your voice. Earlier today, you told me you were puzzled about something, but you did not tell me what it is, which is certainly your absolute right. It is a privilege for me when you decide to share anything with me. Yet, since I am obliged to share all my feelings and thoughts with you, I have to tell you that I really wish you would have shared what was puzzling you with me.

Chatting with you, speaking with you, hearing your beautiful voice, and doing things for you make me feel very happy. They make me feel truly happy because they make feel close to you, and they also make me feel that I am yours. Similarly, when you share things with me, when you allow me to know aspects relating to your life, I feel very happy too. There is nothing I wish for in this world more than being close to you, being yours, and spending my life with you, and for you. In addition to this, there is no one I love in this world more than I love you. There is no one I care about in this world more than I care for you. There is no one I wish would be happy more than I wish you would be. There is no one I wish I could serve and help make happy more than I wish I could make you happy. Accordingly, I wish I could know what was puzzling you because I wish I could be useful for you and hope that I could perhaps contribute to helping you think through what is puzzling you. I wish I could be of any help for you in any possible way.

Sitting here by the ocean, listening to the waves in the middle of the night, makes me think about you constantly, wishing you are here with me. I am always thinking about you, but because I love this place (the ocean) a lot, it always makes me think about you even much more and makes me wish you would be here sharing it with me. Because I love this place a lot, I feel like I want to share it with the person I love the most, You, ya agmal we a7la Setty. I remember that you do not like the sea much, yet being here thinking about you reminds me of the time when you were laying with your head on my thighs telling me about your 20 wishes. I so wish you were here with me ya Setty. I wish I could see you right now. I wish I could hear you. I wish I could speak with you. I wish you could see and feel all the love I hold for you.

I love you so much ya agmal we a7la Setty. I love you madly. And, I miss you a lot.

17/01/01

My love for you is like a fairy tale! Yesterday, I was thinking about how unique our story has been. I love you so much, even though we have met, face to face, for only 4 times. It is true that two of them were several hours long, yet still, in total, we have met for only four distinct times! Don't you think this is quite unique? Even if we add all the phone conversations we had. Only a few of them were a few hours long, but most of the other phone conversations were only a few minutes. So, even if we factor in all these phone conversations and add them to our face to face meeting times, I find that we have known each other for such a short period of time, in comparison to the amount of love and adoration I hold for you. I think it easily qualifies for a fairy tale ... a very unique and heart moving one!

I still know little about you. I have yet to learn a lot. For example, recently I have been thinking that I do not know your favorite colors, your favorite dressing styles, your favorite sweets and desserts, your favorite appetizers ... I have yet to learn how to cheer you up when you are down, how to earn your forgiveness when you are upset, what's the best way to make you smile, how you would think about or react to various incidents or motivators, what you hold dear and what is not that important to you ... too many things. I love you so much. I wish I could learn everything about you. I hope that one day I could be as close and dear to you as is practically impossible, yet with my love, adoration and determination, ultimately possible,

You told me a few times before that there are aspects that we will never get to know about one another except when we are living together. I completely agree with you, and wish I could be with you now before later, yesterday before today, last week before this week, last month before this month .... I can't wait to have the privilege of being with you not only because I love you and wish to be very close to you, and not only because I wish to know these aspects you were referring to, but also because I wish to learn everything about you. I wish to observe and learn absolutely everything about you. I wish to observe your every reaction, study your every response, recognize your every move, know your every thought and every feeling, be able to anticipate your every mood ... I long to be your dearest friend, most trusted companion, most loving partner, most adoring lover, most doting pet, most worshiping follower, most devoted slave ... I love you so much ya agmal we a7la Setty ... agmal we a7la Setty ever! I am so madly in love with you.